I See Uranus

15 Sep

I got invited to a fancy Farm To Table benefit meal and since I dragged the invitor to Puppetry of the Penis I figured I owed him. 

So here I am about to eat a very expensive meal and I’m already drunk. So why not blog?


While wandering the estate I thought of something funny be sidebar were talking about The Cirque du Soleil. 

As in, “Speaking of the Cirque du Soleil, last night Scrotus was only wearing a nightshirt and decided to do inversions on the rings and let’s just say he lived up to his name.”

As in no underpants. 

Testiclese was, at the same time, showing Loony his star finder app and he was all, “Venus is that way,” and I was all, “Ha! I see Uranus!”

Baby Steps

26 Apr IMG_4284-1


Definitely big enough to suffocate me in my sleep

Mr. Bates walked over my face this morning which represents a step in the right direction as far as the face-sleeping training goes. Then he jumped off the bed and menaced the dog. 
Now if I can only get him to pause while he’s on my face, like all night, then maybe I will achieve my dream of feline asphyxiation. 

And I ate a reheated chile relleno burrito and maybe that wasn’t such a good idea because I feel slow and bloated (unlike my usual svelt, cheetah-like self) but at least it may act as aversion therapy for future ill-advised Mexican food binges. Eaten standing up. 

That is all.  

the burrito was bigger than this tiny treat



19 Feb

I am caught in an endless WordPress loop. I’m working to fix it. Meanwhile, if you want to catch up with verticalviv or process of elimination, go to:


You are gonna have to cut and paste it. WordPress works in mysterious ways.

Thank you!



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